The 4 Elements of Love
An Introduction to Love Alchemy
You’re likely familiar with the term alchemy—the process of transforming matter from one form into another, with the most famous example being the transmutation of lead into gold.
Love Alchemy is my term for the metamorphosis of your love life from one form to another (it’s also the title of my soon-to-be-published second book), and it requires you to learn skills related to the four essential elements of healthy romantic love to transform yourself from a jaded or frustrated single into a competent, confident love magnet.
In other words, Love Alchemy allows you to transform your love blocks (any romantic obstacle) into relationship gold (the confidence and competence of an effective dater).
The entire Love Alchemy framework is founded upon the four science-based elements of healthy romantic love, their correspondence to the four alchemical elements (air, water, fire, and earth), and the pillars of relationship readiness that support them.
Let’s start with an exploration of the elements.
The Love Elements
COMMITMENT
Air corresponds to the Love Element of commitment, which is a conscious decision to be partners along life’s journey. Air energy represents the gaseous state of matter and is equivalent to the mind, which thinks our thoughts. Our beliefs, values, and ability to effectively assess and communicate our expectations emit the Air frequency.
CONNECTION
Water corresponds to the Love Element of connection, which requires the emotional capacity necessary to produce friendship. Water energy represents the liquid state of matter and is equivalent to the heart, which engenders our emotions. Our emotional availability, capacity for intimacy, and ability to trust ourselves and, therefore, trust others emit the Water frequency.
CHEMISTRY
Fire corresponds to the Love Element of chemistry, which produces playfulness, passion, and physical attraction. Fire energy represents the plasma state of matter and is equivalent to the spirit, which animates our actions. Our sense of humor, degree of self-efficacy, and confidence in our abilities emit the Fire frequency.
CONSISTENCY
Earth corresponds to the Love Element of consistency, which is the sustainment of commitment, connection, and chemistry through time. Earth energy represents the solid state of matter and is equivalent to the body, which maintains our manifestations. Our sense of self-worth, ability to honor our boundaries, and capacity to be present in the moment emit the Earth frequency.
The four love elements (aka romantic elements) are essential for any lasting, loving relationship and their energies weave throughout the entire romantic process—from preparing for love to navigating the dating process to nurturing a partnership long term.
Now that you’re clear on the essential elements that exist in every healthy relationship, let’s look at the criteria that determine if you have the current capacity to handle each of the relationship elements.
The Pillars of Relationship Readiness
Each Love Element is supported by one of the four Pillars of Relationship Readiness:
REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS
The #1 reason relationships fail isn’t infidelity or money—it’s the frustration experienced because of unmet, unrealistic expectations. Healthy romantic commitment is built upon a foundation of realistic expectations.
EMOTIONAL AVAILABILITY
You are 200% less likely to enter a new relationship if you are still emotionally connected—either positively or negatively—to past partners. Healthy romantic connection is built upon a foundation of emotional availability.
SELF CONFIDENCE
Confidence isn’t a state of mind—you can’t decide to be confident—it’s the level of trust you have in yourself based on the evidence of your skills. The #1 reason anyone is single is because they’re trying to have a Level 25 relationship with Level 3 dating skills (discover your skill level here 😉). Healthy romantic chemistry is built upon a foundation of self-confidence.
LIFESTYLE CAPACITY
Your lifestyle habits—in conjunction with your expectations, emotional availability, and dating skills—determine the time, space, and energy you have available to nurture a relationship. If your capacity is overextended, relationships will struggle to grow. Healthy romantic consistency is built upon a foundation of lifestyle capacity.
These Relationship Readiness Pillars form your internal foundation to support all happy, healthy relationships and are the core competencies I help all my dating coaching clients develop.
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Amari Ice is a gay dating coach, matchmaker, and hypnotherapist who helps successful singles master their romantic magic by developing their dating skills, healing subconscious patterns of self-sabotage, and enhancing their romantic magnetism so that love becomes inevitable. Take the free Dating Skills Quiz to discover your estimated dating skill level.
